Monday, September 08, 2014

Sabi Mo Eh...

Two weeks and everything between you and me went well. Until...

You told me you don't care and that I continue to do what I want. This sparked to deeper arguments. Words not meant to be said. Words that cut like a sword.
If you say so, you kept on repeating to me. "Sabi mo eh" was all you could muster. You don't care.
I gasped for more air as it all felt very heady. I couldn't think clearly any longer. It was as if my brain froze, my insides about to be thrown up. You told me you didn't want to be hindering me from being happy. If only you knew how sad I was. If only you knew what happy looks like to me.
After more than an hour of tearful conversations, I lay flat on the cold floor. Half conscious, half alive. My fingers turned purple, still holding my cellphone. Holding on to dear life. And then I woke up to Yoda barking at me.
This is definitely not what happy looks like.

I slumped on the floor, tears trickling down my cheeks. I couldn't believe how it felt like I was going to lose you. More words exchanged, more hurtful they got.

With trembling hands, I reached for my asthma puff. I couldn't take how you don't care anymore. Without a good, nor bad reason, you seemed to not want me anymore.

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