Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts

Monday, July 28, 2014

Self Check: Five Months After

I don't really have much to say or compare to when it comes to break-ups. The first time was when an ex boyfriend sent me a message via Friendster that goes "it's not about you, it's me".

A  relationship that went for seven years that has gone wrong is more than heart breaking to me. It wasn't all about me and the guy anymore, but the relationship has extended to family, friends and even finances. Freaking Fs.

February. What was supposedly a mutual decision turned upside down when I knew about things he kept from me. We talked and decided that since things don't go well between us anymore, we deemed it best to live our lives on our own. However, days, weeks and months passed, and I learned about everything he had done despite the chance I once gave him. So I just leave it to that.

The Survival. I went through the usual ugly-cry-at-night and self-pity. I couldn't avoid crying at any time of the day. To say the truth, I was very remorseful of the relationship than that of the love. Perhaps it was just about time.

I have very few friends - seriously just a handful. I don't have my family with me and talking with me always make me break down in tears. Mostly I only have Yoda, and he's enough for me to bare all the hurt, betrayal and pain. 

Yoda. Arriving home to a happy dog is such a relief. We never miss to cuddle and play before sleeping and upon waking up. My social network is a witness to how much Yoda means to me, his human.


Reinvention. I had my hair cut, permed and more in just a few months. I lost weight and changed my wardrobe. I became a different person than I was a year ago. I took more selfies and compared them to previous years' photos me. I am different. I was different.

I am not sure how and where the effect of a break-up will take me, but it took me to where I was not supposed to be.

Friday, December 21, 2012

A Letter from Your Guitar

Thump your fingers on my neck
Hold me close, never break.
Pluck the outlines of my veins
Your nails scraping on my skin.
Listen to the beat in every pump
Tighten the fret as you clump.
Smooth and warm caress of your arms on my curve
Each touch I starve.
Hold me tight, sway with me tonight.
Together we make love,
Music is all we have.

Tuesday, December 04, 2012

Dim the Headlights by Urbandub

Around two years ago when I first posted the lyrics of a song of this Cebu-based band. They're my local favorite because their songs are poems with melody. Sensual, sexy, poetic.

I can only smile sheepishly on this Urbandub song. But before I did, I had to hold back tears.


It starts with a stare we're both well aware

pulling me closer, pulling me in
Our eyes lock, eager to sink in my
teeth for the taste of your sin

-------

REFRAIN\

--------

The nights blaze from heat I've exchanged
as time fades, so drive me away

--------

CHORUS 1\

Dim the headlights the streets are open
One start, skies burst in orange and blue
Sit still, on your passenger side
and watch you drive me to fall in love
We fall in love

-------

VERSE 2\

--------
And when you speak it leaves me weak
in a daze for days I'm lost and I am craving more
Oh yes, you can touch me easy

--------------

REPEAT REFRAIN

---------
Dim the headlights the streets are open
One start, skies burst in orange and blue
Sit still, on your passenger side
and watch you drive me to fall in love

------

BRIDGE\

-------
And I'f I lost you, I've lost every piece of me inside you
with every taste of me that you take, I pray just

A little bit more
A little bit more
A little bit more
A little bit more
A little bit more

REPEAT REFRAIN

Dim the headlights the streets are open
One start, skies burst in orange and blue
Sit still, on your passenger side
and watch you drive

-----

OUTRO\

------

dim the headlights, we fall in love
dim the headlights, we fall in love
dim the headlights, we fall in love
dim the headlights, we fall in love

Untitled

Little drops of rain trickled down the window.
The metro almost drowned in traffic and rainwater.
We stared at each other, with eyes promising a glorious night
From your eyes, I looked down to your lips,
hungry to touch it with mine
Then you moved closer and I melted
Under the sheets our bodies swayed in rhythm
Like a choreographed dance
And in trance, we bade the night like there's no tomorrow
Like we're the only people alive
The sad truth of the sun coming out, signaled the end of our slumber
I pulled away. Not because I don't want you.
Only because I don't want to be engulfed in a closer space that is "us".
Because there can never be in between a plus.
A dream, in sleep,
But everything was true I just can't keep.
Casually we kissed goodbye.
Unknowing how will the days go by
Will there be more?
What about after four?
When we know that more means drowning in ourselves, in us.
The night it had to end,
I hid myself under the sheets.
Tears poured and a stab that no one can mend
I was happy for you but not for me
For tomorrow I'll see you smile
But I, sorrowful eyes to hide
I know someday I can be free.