A Whole Year of Updates (5/5)

It started last year, almost a year ago. I felt my career was getting stagnant. I sent emails to companies I wished to work for and fortunately received positive responses from a few. In October, I moved to Siemens. Totally different. I easily adapted to the quirkyness and love for pancit of my colleagues.

Siemens had been my home. I drowned myself with work. Before, if I felt going home then I did. But here, I would come in between 7 or 8 in the morning and leave 12 hours after. Less Facebook and Twitter.

February of this year, the boyfriend and I moved to a new apartment with Alex, a friend. Our Saturdays were spent on the rooftop over beer and kwentuhan. On Sundays, we'd go to Binondo to eat at Wai Ying's or drive to Tagaytay for their famous bulalo at the meat market.

To sum, I have a really good job, new house and my tummy is well fed. BUT, I feel empty. I want to be satisfied but I do not know what for. Perhaps pressure is getting on me. Friends are getting married and having babies. Some are enjoying the greener pastures. Some are just a year less from graduating in law school. Thing is I do not want to get married yet, all the more I do not want to carry the bump. My ambition to go to London has been forgotten but my fancy over anything English will never be over.

On Getting Married. I love weddings. I daydream of my own wedding - the beach, chucks, football field for the AVP, 90s OPM, matching tattoos, doing my own make-up, the entourage, name it. I envy a lot of my friends who are getting hitched. They seem so happy, all prepared and excited to finally become one. The boyfriend and I talk about it too. We have the same ideas and of course, excited. BUT, financially we are not yet ready. AND perhaps, emotionally too on my part. I want to achieve A LOT first. I want to go back to school, travel and build my own library. To add, the boyfriend just moved to a new company and is still establishing his own career. I keep on telling him to concentrate on his performance at work and that I will understand if he has less time for me. Both our families are excited for us to start our own family. It's just that marriage has taken a backseat in our minds.

On Building a Career. Working in Siemens is a whole lot of fun. The girls are awesome; I learned to put on make-up and wear colorful skirt in the office. We've travelled out of town twice - Cebu and Bohol, both times were so much fun. The boys are funny and bastos-friendly. Hahahah! I love my boss, how he keeps his cool when the tough gets going. He throws very corny jokes and always gets us motivated - especially through food and movies. We just launched our book club after everyone got hooked on Christian Grey. Lunch and merienda are so funny even if it's just pancit canton on the table. There is nothing I can complain about.

Going Both Crazy and Happy. I have a lot of goals this year: travel around the country each month, get inked, enroll in the Open University, read more books, get engaged, shave my hair, buy an iPhone, drink with random people, party like there's no tomorrow and fall in love all over again. Next definitely to tick is to put on a real tattoo - "Saudade" the longing for something not existing.

Saudade

A Whole Year of Updates (4/5)

By far, this is the part where I'm most excited to talk about (and my friends have been bugging me to tell the whole story).

May-June 2012. The Ilocandia Tour.

I have always wanted to go to Ilocos and experience "the old, the ancient, the history". In some days when I have less to do, I would browse the internet on must-visit places. One day, I felt everything was too much - I needed to get away from work, disconnect myself to social networking, run away from the boyfriend and try to be a different person, I decided to embark to Ilocos in the weekend.

Thursday. The boyfriend and I dined at Hawkers and we talked very casually. Then I told (not asked) him that I wanted to travel to Ilocos on Saturday. He was astonished at how absurd this idea was. He asked if I'm sure. I said yes immediately. I made up my mind and there was nothing he could do about it.

So come Saturday morning, I woke up at around eight o'clock - which is my usual first wake up call on weekends. I looked up the internet for a bus liner which can take me to the North, the schedule, rates and contact number. Turned out I had one freaking hour to prepare because the bus would leave at 9:45. I packed a few clothes, made sure all my essentials are in my backpack and hailed a cab to take me to Partas station in Pasay. I remembered it was raining like hell. But not Mother Nature stopped me. Then I got my ticket, waited with the rest of the passengers and called the boyfriend that I was there waiting already. Friends and my boss texted to remind me to take care of myself. I planned to go back to Manila Sunday night so I could still report to the office on Monday.

But no. The bus ride took away 12 hourssssss of my supposed get-away tour! I dreaded CDO-Davao bus rides and this was tooooo much. I didn't realize until my phone was on critical battery level, when my butt felt sore, my stomach was grumbling (I do not eat when on travel because I easily get sick) and there was nothing else I could do but remain seated. On my window seat, peeping from the curtains, I saw rainy Pampanga, La Union and and Pangasinan pass by. I was supposed to contemplate, meditate, ponder upon everything that's happened (and will happen) in my life but I could not. It was the worst part of the trip.

Saturday 10PM. I arrived in Vigan (but had to keep asking the bus driver and its assistant where we were already). I picked the most friendly looking driver from the line-up of trikes infront of the terminal. I was fortunate that he knew where Grandpa's Inn was and told me that it was nice and affordable. So there I checked in at the old mansion which was refurbished into a lodging house.

Wait, let me tell the story by just posting the photos instead. Then I'll just blog about THE QUARTER LIFE CRISIS.

An old coffee press (I think) at Grandpa's Inn, Heritage, Vigan.

Longganisa was a staple.

More than 10 tigers at Baluarte, Vigan.

Random bus rides. Didn't know where to go.

Vigan Empanada doesn't have added coloring.

Kesong puti cheesecake and black coffee for that rainy afternoon.

Spicy longganisa pizza at Herencia.

Laoag empanada from Johnny Moon (Juan Luna hailed from the North)

Bangui windmills going to Pagudpud.

One of the highlights: meeting The Dictator (at his Mausoleum)

Late Post

Don't doubt love if you still feel it in the morning.

I've been watching a lot of American TV series for the past few months. My list includes Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, Shit My Dad Says, Outsourced and Mad Men. Except for the last one, the rest are comedic in nature. Nonetheless, I would have to say that I enriched myself with a handful of life principles to live by as the serious one.

I can personally relate to some characters and let me review each of them:

Big Bang Theory. I am definitely no Sheldon academically and a Penny physically. I don't like to associate myself with nerdy Leonard either. What I'm trying to get at in this series is how a group of nerds cope with the social "norms" and at the same time still craze over Star Wars and Star Trek, Physics, Engineering, Comics and a whole of of nerdy stuff. How they look and behave may not be balanced at all, but they definitely progress to definitive results at the university and at home with neighbor Penny.

How I Met Your Mother. My relationship is a Lily-Marshall episode. We've been together for many years and very openly comfortable

________________________
04 Sep 2012
And I trailed off from the last sentence. :-/

Me. Less Spark

I was reading Helga's neurotic rant on how she has matured and is different to her much younger self. This made me, well, sort of evaluate what I always wanted but still haven't done or made today.

My ambition to get a degree in Literature has been ticked off.

My longing to live independently has been crossed out as well.

My dream to live with my boyfriend and go to different places together.

This means only a few things to accomplish before a more mature and complicated chapter gets on - marriage. But you see, the things I'll be mentioning may be few but definitely more liberated than those I earlier did. I have the tendency to pull off a Lily Aldrin - leave an engagement for a dream she has always wanted, getting into a painting fellowship away.

To start with, I've always wanted to get into further studies. Ten years ago, I told myself to proceed to law school immediately after college. College came and made me think twice about it. Thus, my second choice to master Literature at a more reputable university. Whichever of the two choices, at least I'd like to accomplish one even if it means adding or losing four years of my life. How hard it may be, I don't seem to care. I may succeed or fail, at least at the end of the day I can say "I did it". Most of my friends in college are on their third year in law school. Yes, I envy them. Very much. But if it were me, I would still prefer studying in Manila. We have good schools back at home, but there are more opportunities to become an associate or study under more

accomplished firms here.

My next and maybe last in the list requires more than just all my creative and intellectual juices. I want to study abroad. A couple of years ago, I randomly sent application letters to universities and programs I liked. This means attending the British Council seminar on scholarship grants, sending my portfolio to University of Westminster and answering a whole lot of tests from

universities in England, Italy, France and Spain. Even as a kid, I fancy myself having tea with the Queen, watching the princes play polo and going to beautiful museums. Definitely sounds like a dream. But this dream has been made more concrete to me with an email sent from the Admissions Office of the University of Westminster. I have been long listed. They'd like me to find a program to fund my studies, get my travel papers done and many more documents to compile in just less than two months before start of class. Up to this day, the email remains in my most treasured folder. Practically, I asked if I can still apply for next semester or school year. I can and will need to get things done before I send in my letter to them again.

Hopefully when I've decided when I can get things done, I will have the means. I will have the time to become myself even more. I will have the confidence that everything will go the way I've always wanted. I will have that spark, that x-factor, the guts to make all these come true.