Carlo’s eyes begged me not to be disgraceful. Divisoria was always filled with a lot of people. My fists wanted to give him a big hit on the face. Why?! He was not prepared to answer. I wasn’t prepared for his answer either, if he had any. From his eyes, I saw what went wrong. I knew him too much that I knew his answer already.
It was when Carlo and Mark attended a convention in Zamboanga. They were the top from their respective Ateneo schools. They shared the same room in the hotel, and had found out likely characteristics between each other. They bid their first goodbye to each other after the convention. They knew it wouldn’t be their last meeting. Zamboanga could only be half a day apart.
Carlo was enthusiastic about going back to Zamboanga during the Christmas holidays. He liked the place too much, especially the fort. He wanted some time to go to a place where he could relax and get away with worries. As a friend, I tagged along with him to the bus terminal. Almost twelve hours after, he was with Mark. At least I knew he arrived safely and was in good hands. Good hands with Mark.
From simply holding each other’s hands, things went to sitting really close. The hugs meant more than comfort. The stares entailed more than just a look. The warmth signified more than just anything normal. It started out with a kiss. A peck on the cheek. A torrid kiss on the lips. Those good hands lay on one another’s skin. Burning like fire, the passion between the two lovers seemed to come from the innermost and hidden desires. No one knew about the affair except me, who knew Carlo too much. I saw what happened from his eyes.
I saw the answer. He never regretted anything. Yet, he wanted to regret that he lost me. But I knew he wanted him.